We all have patterns.
Ways of being.
Things we learned as children that evolve into the mechanisms we use as adults to cope, survive, relate, attach.
Some serve us very well in some area while completely blowing up our lives over and over again in others.
Love addiction is a term that has recent come into my awareness though a great friend.
I poo-pooed it.
I avoided eye contact with this book on my shelf for months.
On a visceral level it threatened so much of who I am that I wanted it no where near me.
Then I finally agreed to just look.
Just see if maybe I can relate.
I’ve never opened up a book and had an author describe my self, my relationships, my ways of being “in love” so clearly.
There it is in front of me.
The clarity to see how I’ve ended up in so many physically and verbally abusive relationships.
How I’ve been cheated on in just as many of those relationships.
Why it never feels like enough and my partner can never satisfy my need for love and connectedness and attention.
I am still not sure how I feel about or how I will approach the “recovery process” but I’m clear how I’m doing things now is not working if what I’m committed to in life is to live more love, light, joy, and growth.
I’ve gotta dig in.
So friends, I’m a love addict.
Fuck, here we go.
It’s been a long time coming and it’s finally time.
I suppose there is nothing like extended world travel to discover self, heal, grow, and figure some shit out.
You all can expect a KrissyKrashPodcast episode about this one as I bust through these layers.
Listen to all the past episodes at krissykrash.com or subscribe to Krissy Krash Podcast on stitcher, Spotify, or apple podcasts)
Thank you Adam Kristoffer for being such a great friend, support system, mirror and kick in the ass.
A Krash Course in World Travel 